


Where He Is

by pearl_o



Category: due South
Genre: Candles, M/M, Post-Call of the Wild
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-08-25
Updated: 2005-08-25
Packaged: 2017-11-03 10:40:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 828
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/380485
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pearl_o/pseuds/pearl_o
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Written for the ds_flashfiction "No Power" challenge.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Where He Is

It's stew again for dinner; Fraser eats his quickly while Ray picks at his bowl and doesn't think about how long it's been since he's had pizza or Chinese food or donuts. If Ray was in Chicago right now, he could be eating a greasy pepperoni pizza and drinking beer and putting his feet up on the coffee table and watching TV. If he was there he would be doing it by himself.

After they're done eating, Fraser goes out to feed the dogs. Ray stacks up the dishes and rinses them out, and then he stands in the middle of the cabin, feeling weird. He should be doing something, but he doesn't know what. At least on when they were on the trail, he knew there was stuff for him to do; since they got here yesterday he's had no clue. He can't tell what he thinks about this place at all; he hates it and he loves it and he wants to go home and the last thing he wants is to leave Fraser.

Ray can't just stand here, waiting for Fraser. He rummages through the cabin. The candles are in a drawer in the cabinet over by the door; there are dozens of them, all in a neat stack, white and long and tapered just like the kind Stella used to put on the kitchen table every weekend. It's not dark yet, but it's going to be soon. Ray grabs an armful.

He's arranging them around the cabin when when Fraser comes back. Dief runs in ahead of him and settles right down by the stove, but Fraser stops in the doorway and stands really still. His face is totally blank, and for a second Ray's almost convinced that Fraser doesn't even see him, that Fraser is staring straight at him and thinking _who is this man, why is he sitting on my floor, how can I get him to leave_. Ray stares back at him, feeling frozen, because that look on Fraser's face -- that look scares him.

Then Fraser says, "What are you doing?"

"What does it look like I'm doing?" Ray says. He looks back down at his hands, away from Fraser and that weird look, as he sets another candle up on the floor.

"Ray, you're -- why?" Fraser's voice sounds a little hoarse, and Ray calms, the pressure going out of his chest, because Fraser sounds just as scared as him, even if Ray doesn't know why.

"I like candles, okay? Maybe I like being able to _see_ myself. It's dark as sin out here, Fraser." The darkness here is darker than anything Ray's ever seen in his life. Chicago's never dark, not like this, even during power outages there's still _something_ , like you know that the lights are just biding their time, waiting to come back on. It's not like that here. 

Fraser takes a hesitant step forward, and then another one and another, until he's standing next to Ray, so close Ray's head can almost brush against his stomach. Fraser hasn't taken off his boots or his parka or even wiped the snow off himself.

"Ray," Fraser says softly.

Ray snorts. "I know, you're going to tell me it's a fire hazard or something, right?"

"Something like that." Fraser sets his hand in Ray's hair and Ray looks up at him. "If I may offer a suggestion--" Fraser says.

Five minutes later, Ray's huddling under the quilt on the bed, watching Fraser while he sets up the kerosene lamp over by the chair. It _is_ dark now, full out night. Fraser finishes what he's doing, putting that glass cover back down and then he crosses the room and crawls under the covers, too. 

Ray turns on his side to face him, and Fraser stares back at him. The lamp doesn't give a whole lot of light, and what it is is strange, way different than electric light, yellow and flickery and with weird shadows. But Fraser's right here, and Ray can see _him_ \-- it's practically the only thing Ray _can_ see, his face all pale and serious and blurry, and it's like they've got their own pocket of light right here in this huge darkness.

He's in the middle of fucking _nowhere_ \-- he's got no idea what he's even _doing_. This isn't Chicago, it's not where he belongs, and Ray knows it, he does, so there's no reason why it should keep taking him by surprise. This isn't Chicago, but this is where he is.

_You're a freak, Fraser_ , Ray thinks, and _I love you_ , but he doesn't say either, just curls up beside Fraser and sets his hand on his chest.

Fraser says, "Understood," just the same as if Ray had said anything out loud, and he takes Ray's hand off his chest and brings it to his mouth to kiss Ray's fingers. Ray closes his eyes, and it's black as ink, just him and Fraser and nothing else.


End file.
